


I'm not a saint (but I could be if I tried)

by Loulouche



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Beau ran away before the monks came for her, Bottom Yasha (Critical Role), Caleb and Nott ask the Gentleman to help, Campaign 2 (Critical Role), Canonical Character Death, Cunnilingus, F/F, Fingerfucking, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Jester Fjord and Yasha are taken away, Light Dom/sub, Mercenary!Beau, Molly dies but Beau didn't know him, Oral Sex, Smut, Top Beauregard Lionett, Vaginal Fingering, You Have Been Warned, and also an excuse to write beauyasha smut, basically this is a personal interpretation of what could have happened to Beau, he already suspects that Jester is his daughter, if one event hadn't occurred and it had cascaded from there, never met the Mighty Nein in Trostenwald, no beta we die like Molly, she became a mercenary and works solo, she never joined the Cobalt Soul, so he accepts and hires Beau to go help them, this is what you will get and it starts right from chapter 1, with spoilers here and there i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:48:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29378052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loulouche/pseuds/Loulouche
Summary: The Gentleman puts his glass of wine down. He looks at her from head to toe and grins. “You must be Beauregard.”“Yeah.” Her voice is deeper than it would be expected from such a small and slender frame.“I’ve heard much about you.”“Have you?”“Your feats didn’t go unnoticed. You made your name known in just a couple years. That’s impressive.”“I figured word was starting to get around, but I didn’t think my name had reached the ears of someone like you already.”Her expression indicates that she is in fact not surprised that the news has gotten to the Gentleman. The confidence she unapologetically demonstrates makes him smile.“It has. Some even say you’re on your way to become the best mercenary there’s been in a long time. Which is why I’m glad you were able to come so quickly. Thank you for this.”---Beau's father has always thought she was worthless and good for nothing. From the youngest age, she swore to prove him wrong and become the best in any field, except winery. If said field was something that would piss him off and enrage him, it was even better. She ended up becoming a mercenary. The best in her domain.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & The Mighty Nein, Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 24
Kudos: 97





	1. They say don't open old wounds (but you're still brand new)

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: I started writing this in January and I'm posting it today, right after the big reveal about Beau (I won't say anything else, in case some of you haven't seen C2E125 yet, but don't worry there is no spoilers for this episode).
> 
> I'm not a native speaker, so I apologize in advance for the poor writing. If you decide to read anyway, thank you.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I’ve never played D&D myself, what little I know about it, I got from campaign 2 of Critical Role. So be prepared to come upon inconsistencies. Feel free to let me know if what I write makes no sense, politely and respectfully please.
> 
> \---
> 
> Title from I'm Not A Saint, by Billy Raffoul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really like this first chapter, and maybe I won't like the others (if I write anything else after this), but it seems that I can't find how to make it better so that I'm satisfied, so I decided to give it a try and post it anyway.
> 
> Chapter’s title from Old Wounds, by PVRIS

It’s an average day at the Evening Nip. The Gentleman is sitting at his usual table with a glass of wine in his hand as is going through paperwork. Even when you’re a smuggler and criminal mastermind with a lot of people working for you, you have to deal with paperwork, and gods know organization is everything in this field of work.

The Gentleman suddenly hears some agitation amongst the patrons and raises his head. A dark-skinned woman just entered the clandestine bar. He has never seen her before, but he can guess who she must be. The woman walks up to him and stops in front of the table. She crosses her arms on her chest and looks right at him.

Her clothing is entirely black. She is wearing a sleeveless crop top that leaves her abs apparent and very tight pants with high boots that go up to the knee. Mittens obscure her hands, but inked lines are emerging from them and run all along her two arms, up to the shoulders where they disappear under her clothes. Various pouches and utensils are hanging from her belt, as well as a pair of goggles. Her ears, nose, and left eyebrow are pierced. Her hair is short on top and completely shaved on the sides and the back of her head. Her undercut is adorned with complex geometrical patterns.

The Gentleman puts his glass of wine down. He looks at her from head to toe and grins. “You must be Beauregard.”

“Yeah.” Her voice is deeper than it would be expected from such a small and slender frame.

“I’ve heard much about you.”

“Have you?”

“Your feats didn’t go unnoticed. You made your name known in just a couple years. That’s impressive.”

“I figured word was starting to get around, but I didn’t think my name had reached the ears of someone like you already.”

Her expression indicates that she is in fact not surprised that the news has gotten to the Gentleman. The confidence she unapologetically demonstrates makes him smile.

“It has. Some even say you’re on your way to become the best mercenary there’s been in a long time. Which is why I’m glad you were able to come so quickly. Thank you for this.”

“I was looking for work, so your offer came at a perfect time. Your man said he couldn’t tell me what it was about though.”

“I don’t really like to disclose my activities in places where there might be indiscreet ears.”

“I understand.”

Beauregard waits as the Gentleman takes a sip of wine. He puts down his glass and looks back at her. “A group of people calling themselves the Mighty Nein started working for me a short while ago. They contacted me this morning, requiring my assistance. They are currently completing a job for me, so I thought I would help them. Apparently, three of them were taken away by slave traders last night. They are going after them to try and get their friends back, but they think they will need backup. They thought I would be the best person to find someone qualified for this job.”

Beauregard silently stares at him for a moment. “You must like them a lot to go to such lengths just to help them. Do you have personal motivations?”

For just a split second, the Gentleman seems unsettled, just long enough for Beauregard to notice. But he quickly puts his mask back on and grins. “They promised they would pay for it, and I have ways to make sure they will.”

“What about  _ my _ payment?”

“They will cover it too.”

“Well, that’s gonna be a problem.” The Gentleman raises one eyebrow in interrogation. “I always ask for half of the payment in advance.“

“Don’t worry, they will give you the money when you get to them.”

“How can I be sure of that?”

“They have proved to be worthy of trust.”

“I don’t care.” The Gentleman squints. Beauregard can tell he is not used to being challenged and doesn’t like it. “They’ve proved themselves to you, not to me.”

“How can they pay you before you get to them?”

“ _ You _ can pay me and they will return the money to you when they’re back.”

“I’m not doing it.”

“Then I guess you will have to find someone else.” With that, Beauregard turns around and starts walking away.

“Wait!”

Beauregard stops. She keeps her back to the Gentleman for a moment and then slowly turns around with a grin on her face. “No personal motivation, uh?”

She sees his jaw clench. “I have a reputation to hold. I can’t send them just anyone, I need the best.”

“Then you have to pay for it.”

His hand stiffens around his glass of wine. “How much do you want?”

“Where are they?”

“They’re on their way to Shadycreek Run.”

“It looks quite urgent judging by what you told me, so I guess you want me to be there as soon as possible.”

“Yes.”

“I’ll need a horse then, and a good one.”

“Just give me your price.”

“Seven hundred gold pieces.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“I’m the best, you said it yourself, and it comes with a price.”

“Five hundred.”

“Six. I won’t go lower.”

The ogre standing in the corner groans, but the Gentleman gives him a hand motion before he can move, and he stays where he is. The Gentleman grits his teeth and glares at Beauregard. “Deal.”

Beauregard grins and comes back closer to the table. “If they’re as trustworthy as you say they are, I’m sure they will pay you back.”

The Gentleman ignores her comment and turns to the ogre. “Kutha.”

The ogre brings a small chest and puts it down on the table. The Gentleman opens it and rummages through it briefly. He pulls out a bag and closes the chest for the ogre to take it away.

“Before I give you the money…” Beauregard looks at him and crosses her arms. “I usually collect a bit of blood from people who work for me. Just a precaution. The kind of work we do requires to be cautious, I think you know that better than anyone else. I hope you don’t mind if one of my associates collects a small vial.”

Beauregard remains still for a moment. She looks him in the eye with the same unreadable expression she’s had from the beginning, except when she was grinning. She leans forward and rests her hands on the table. “I very much mind.”

The Gentleman doesn’t seem surprised by this answer, but he looks upset that she is once again resisting him. He tries to speak, but she’s faster.

“Let me be very clear. I don’t work for you or for anyone else. I’m my own boss. People ask me to do things for them, they pay me for that, that’s it. So if you really want me to help these people you seem to be so fond of, it’s gonna be on  _ my _ terms.”

The Gentleman is furious, Beauregard can tell by the vein popping in his neck and the sweat dripping more profusely on his forehead. She briefly looks down and sees his knuckles whiten as he clenches his fists. “Very well,” he says with a groan.

Beauregard grins. She leans a little closer and makes sure to keep her voice low, so that no one else can hear. “You must  _ really _ like them to be willing to risk your reputation as a ruthless smuggler. But don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

Her grin remains on her face as she stands straight. The Gentleman looks even more furious, but he doesn’t retort. He puts the bag on the table and Beauregard immediately grabs it and puts it in one of her pouches.

The Gentlman pulls a sealed envelope from an inside pocket and hands it to Beauregard. “You have all the information you need to find them. Be quick.”

Beauregard takes the envelope and nods at the Gentleman. “You won’t regret hiring me.”

“Get the hell out of here.”

The grin comes back to Beauregard’s face. “A good day to you too.”

She turns around and even without seeing the Gentleman, she can feel his rage and anger. She walks out of the bar with a satisfied smile on her face and much more money than she had when she entered.

* * *

After four days of intense travel, Beauregard arrives in Shadycreek Run. This is where the Mighty Nein were supposed to meet the person the Gentleman sent them to, so she took her chance and went directly there. She starts discreetly enquiring and with her experience and skills, it’s not long before she discovers that strangers arrived in town the day before. From there, it’s easy for her to find the ones she’s looking for.

She roams the streets and quickly comes upon a group of four people. They seem to be in the middle of a heated debate. Only two of them match the description she was given, but she knows how to make sure she’s found the right adventurers.

She gets down from her horse and approaches with the reins in one hand. She stops a few feet away from the four individuals and coughs to get their attention. They all turn and the red-haired man looks at her. “Can we help you?”

“I’m looking for a group of people, and while I have no coin, I'd be willing to offer many gifts." Beauregard instantly catches on the look of recognition that flashes on the man’s face and she puts her hood down. “You are the Mighty Nein?”

“What’s left of it. Who are you?”

“Your savior.” She says with a deadpan expression. “I was sent by the Gentleman.”

A sigh of relief escapes all of them, except the firbolg who seems confused.

The red-haired man takes a step forward. “We thought he had changed his mind and no one would come, we were just talking about hiring locals. Where are your companions?”

“There’s only me.”

The man gives her a very judgemental look that’s matched by the goblin who steps forward in turn. “No offense, but we were expecting more than one person.”

“You don’t need more than one if you have me.” The goblin scoffs. The human, on the other hand, doesn’t seem amused at all. Beauregard ignores their reactions. “You must be Caleb and Nott. I was told there would be a tiefling with you, the purple one. Where is he?”

Silence falls around. The human and the goblin suddenly look very affected, the dwarf seems quite shaken too, and the firbolg has a compassionate expression.

“Well?” Beauregard insists.

The human clears his throat. “I’m Caleb and this is Nott. As for our tiefling friend… We lost Mollymauk yesterday.” His voice is thick with emotion.

Beauregard crosses her arms. “Judging by your face, I guess ‘lost’ means ‘dead’ in that instance.”

“Hey! Can’t you be a bit more delicate? They just lost their friend.”

Beauregard briefly looks at the dwarf who just interfered but doesn’t bother answering. She looks back at Caleb. “What happened?”

“We located the people who took our three friends and tried to ambush them. But it didn’t go as planned.”

Beauregard raises one eyebrow. “You tried to ambush them with just five people?”

“We were four, actually. Nila wasn’t with us at that time,” Caleb says as he points at the firbolg.

Beauregard’s impassive face gets cracked by a very unbieliving expression. “And you really thought you could succeed? Why didn’t you wait for the backup you had requested?”

“We were afraid this might be our only chance. We wanted to get our friends back.”

“And instead you lost one. Good job.”

“What’s your problem?”

Beauregard turns to the dwarf. “Excuse me, but who are you?” she asks with a very calm voice.

“I’m Keg. And you, who are you?”

“I’m Beauregard.”

“Well, fuck off, Beauregard. Can’t you see they’re mourning their friend?”

“I can see that. I can also see how guilty you feel.”

Keg is about to retort, but this comment stops her right away. She remains silent and clenches her jaw.

“You are such an asshole,” the goblin snarls.

“I am. But I’m also very efficient, so if you want me to help you save what remains of your party, you will have to pay for it.”

“How can we be sure you’re as good as you say you are?”

“The Gentleman sent me. Isn’t it enough to prove my worth?” Nott is left with nothing to retort. “He paid me in advance, but I want seven hundred gold pieces when we’re done.”

“Seven hundred?!”

“That’s my price. If you don’t have the money, I’m sure you will find other people who meet your standards in this shitty town.”

Nott wants to reply, but Caleb is faster. “Don’t worry, we will pay you when our friends are free.”

“I want to be sure you have the money.”

“We have money, and I’m sure there will be a lot to loot at their base of operations.”

“You went on reconnaissance already?” Caleb nods. “Good. Maybe you’re not as incompetent as I thought you were.”

The goblin tries to retort, but the human silences her with a wave of his hand and speaks, “We heard about priests living in the woods. Nila can heal, but we thought a bit more help might be useful, if we can convince them to join us.”

“That’s a good idea.”

“We can tell you what we know and what we have gathered while we’re making our way there.”

Beauregard nods. “Let’s go.”

* * *

Beauregard accomplishes her mission. She participates in the liberation of Nila’s family, although it wasn’t her main goal, and then helps slain the Iron Shepherds and free the three members of the Mighty Nein who had been abducted. She is paid as promised, and even manages to loot a few items without the Mighty Nein noticing. In addition to the money and the items, she leaves with a memory of this mission that will remain until her last breath: a long scar across her left eye that she gets from Lorenzo.

When they go back to Mardun Manor to inform Ophelia Mardun they fulfilled their task, Beauregard offers to travel back to Zadash with them. She needs to go back anyway, so they might as well travel together. Caduceus, the cleric they recruited and who decided to stay with them, implies that the Mighty Nein have grown on her and she likes their company in the end. She neither confirms or denies.

At some point in their travel, they stop on the side of the road. Beauregard is in the cart where most of the Mighty Nein are, while Caleb is travelling in one of Ophelia Mardun’s - or rather Lady Quinn Denzala of Nogvurat - carriages. She sees a small mount with a wooden cross embedded in the earth and assumes this is the grave of the friend they lost.

One by one, they get off the cart and she is left alone with the one they call Yasha, who is still unconscious. She was in a very bad state when they found her. She had apparently endured a lot during her captivity, and she was the most bruised and injured of all three prisoners.

Beauregard watches from afar as they all mourn their friend. She heard them talk about him. She is pretty sure she would have hated him, because it sounds like he was an asshole, and she is too. But in the end, he seemed to be a good person. Maybe this is why she would have hated him. He was probably everything she wasn’t.

She suddenly hears movement and turns. Yasha is slowly waking up. She blinks a few times and looks at the mercenary with a puzzled expression. Beauregard feels like she’s just been hit in the gut when her heterochromatic eyes stop on her. They’re beautiful. And so wistful. She has never seen someone who looked so sad before.

“Who…” Yasha’s voice is hoarse. “Who are you?”

“I’m Beauregard,” the mercenary answers with a small bow of the head. “I helped your friends free you.”

“Where are they?”

“They…” Beauregard is hesitant.

Yasha doesn’t know what happened, and she shouldn’t be the one to tell her. She turns her head in the direction of the Mighty Nein. Yasha follows her gaze and frowns. She seems groggy and confused, but she has good reasons to be after all. She slowly crawls out of the cart and Beauregard lets her.

She watches as Yasha makes her way towards her friends. She stops next to the grave and Beauregard thinks she says something, but she can’t hear from this distance. There is a brief exchange among the party, and then Yasha takes a few more steps towards the grave and then falls to her knees. Beauregard sees Jester put a hand on Yasha’s shoulder.

Even from the cart, she can see Yasha’s shoulders quake. Shortly after, she hears a growl that gets louder and louder as Yasha begins to stand up. Beauregard gets startled when a terrible scream comes out of Yasha as black skeletal wings appear in her back, forcing Jester to step back. Beauregard is not even surprised to find that she is apparently not human. Yasha looks up to the sky. There are a few flashes of lightning on the horizon. Her head lowers and she puts a hand on top of the marker. She stays still for a moment, and then starts walking in the direction of the brewing storm. Beauregard assumes others try to stop her, but she puts her hand up to silence them. If she says something, Beauregard can’t hear.

Yasha leaves without looking back.

The rest of the party takes a bit more time and soon, they’re back on the road.

* * *

Beauregard takes the key the inn owner hands her. She knows the excitement of completing a job soon will probably keep her awake and she won’t sleep much, but at least she will have a place to settle down and prepare for the next day. Tomorrow, she will finish what she came here for and then she will go wherever her next work takes her.

She is about to go to the bar to order a meal and something to drink before going to her room, but she gets frozen in place for a brief moment. Right here, sitting alone at a table, is the woman she helped free a few weeks ago. Yasha, was that her name? She’s not sure, but she recognizes her without a doubt. Hard to forget this pale skin and these beautiful, sad eyes, although they barely exchanged a few words.

Beauregard thought this job would be the first and last time she would see the Mighty Nein. She thought this woman was just a brief apparition in her life and she would never see her again. And she was fine with it, really. But she was wrong.

She goes to the bar and orders an ale. She observes the woman from a distance while she waits for her drink. Yasha’s head is lowered. Her eyes seem to be glued to the table, unable to watch somewhere else. Every once in a while, she takes a sip of her ale, never looking up. It’s as if this table contains the answers to humanity's greatest questions. She looks even sadder than she was when she met her for the first time, Beauregard thinks. Maybe she’s not looking for answers in this table, just for a way to escape her very obvious pain.

Beauregard’s ale is served. She takes a sip, never looking away from Yasha, and then walks up to her and stops next to the chair facing her. “Is this seat taken?”

For the first time since Beauregard has spotted her, Yasha looks up. She stares at her for a few seconds and frowns. “Have we met before?”

“Yes, but briefly, and I’m not sure you were in a state where you were able to memorize my face.”

Yasha stares at her with a bit more intensity. “You were in the cart that day.”

“I was.”

“I’m-I’m sorry, I can’t recall your name.”

“Beauregard. But this one is usually for my professional relationships. You can call me Beau.”

“Beau.” She pauses like she is tasting the name on her tongue. “I’m Yasha.”

Beau nods. “I didn’t have the opportunity to say this last time, but I’m sorry for your loss.” For what might be the first time in her entire life, these words don’t feel fake when she says them.

Sadness and hurt flash across Yasha’s eyes and she looks down. “Thank you.”

There is a brief silence, until Beau asks, “Can I sit with you?”

Yasha looks up. “Um… Yeah, sure.”

Beau puts her pint down on the table, pulls the chair and sits down. “Have you been on your own since that day?”

She doesn’t know why she is asking this, doesn’t even know why she came talk to her and asked to sit with her. Usually, she doesn’t enquire about people’s feelings. But then again, usually she never talks to people she’s helped or worked with ever again once the job is done. With Yasha, it’s different. There is something about this woman, about the dull pain she saw in her eyes the first time she looked into them. She has a feeling this pain has been there long before she lost her friend.

Yasha doesn’t answer, only nods and takes a sip.

“You two were close?”

Yasha puts her pint down and keeps her eyes focused on it. “He was my best friend.”

Beau takes a sip of her own ale. She keeps it in her mouth a little. It’s a bit disgusting when she swallows it after it’s warmed up, but she likes to feel the bitter taste on her tongue. She’s known bitterness her entire life, she is accustomed to it. Other people would probably hate it and run from it, but somehow, it’s become her comfort zone. It’s reassuring to stay in charted waters.

“Sorry.”

Beau snaps out of her thoughts and looks at Yasha.

“I’ve never been very talkative and now it seems I’m even less than before.”

“It’s all right.”

Yasha takes a deep breath. “Usually, people stay with their loved ones when they’ve lost someone. You must think I’m stupid for running away from my friends and isolating myself.”

Beau leans back in her chair and crosses her arms on her chest. “I’m not one to judge. That’s usually my go-to as well when I have to deal with pain.”

Yasha slightly smiles, but it’s such a sad smile. Beau suddenly wishes she could take her pain away. She’s never liked seeing people suffer, even if she pretends she doesn’t care. Well, no one likes it actually, except maybe sociopaths. But she sympathizes with people’s pain and it reminds her that she is not as heartless and uncaring as she wants to believe. With Yasha, this feeling is stronger than it’s ever been with anyone else.

They both drink in silence for a while. Yasha looks at her from time to time, but she mostly stares at the table. Beau wonders for how long she’s been here doing this. Maybe all day.

Beau realizes she didn’t order food in the end, but she’s not really hungry anyway. She finishes her ale and looks right at Yasha, waiting until she looks back. “I’m not good at comforting people. I suck at it, actually. But I have a room here for tonight and you are welcome to share it with me. If that's what you want.” She pauses before she adds. “I hope it doesn’t come as rude or inappropriate.”

Yasha’s gaze doesn’t waver at all as she stares at her. Beau thinks this might be the longest she’s looked at her since she sat down at the table. Yasha keeps a stern face, but the pain slightly fades away, replaced by something else. She seems to be gauging the situation. She finishes her pint in one big chug, slams it on the table, stands up and looks at Beau expectantly.

Beau quietly grins. She leaves a few coins on the table and walks towards the stairs leading to the floor where rooms are, Yasha right behind her.

* * *

Beau steps inside the bedroom first and closes the door behind Yasha. "Is it okay if I lock the door?"

Yasha nods in place of an answer. Beau turns the key with a loud metallic sound and then turns to face Yasha. "Make yourself comfortable. These two swords must be heavy."

Yasha shrugs as if to say they weigh nothing to her, but she gets rid of her weapons nevertheless and sets them against the wall. She is about to turn around, but she feels a presence right behind her and then a hand gently rests on her hip. She didn’t even hear Beau approach.

“Before we go any further, you should know softness and dumb cheesy words ain’t really my thing.” Beau feels Yasha tense under her touch.

Yasha keeps her back to her, but she looks over her shoulder. “I’m not looking for softness.”

“Good. I need to be sure we’re on the same page.”

“I just want to forget for a little while.”

“I think I can give you that.” Her grip on Yasha’s hip tightens a bit.

"That's probably not how I should deal with it."

Beau weighs her words and thinks for a moment. "We all try to deal with our own shit as best as we can." She leans closer to Yasha. "There are a few things I need to know. Is it okay if I leave visible marks?"

"I don't care."

"I need a yes or a no."

"Yes, it's okay."

"Good. Is there anything you want or don’t want me to do?”

Beau gives Yasha time to think before she answers. “You can ask me to stay still, or not touch you, but don’t restrain my hands. I want to be able to use them if I need to”

“Okay. What are your safe words?"

There’s a brief silence. Beau can hear Yasha’s steady breathing and she feels her relax. Yasha turns and faces her, and Beau takes her hand off her hip. “‘Storm’ for more. ‘Flower’ to slow down. ‘Molly’ to stop.”

Beau stares Yasha in the eye. “Is there anything else I should know?”

Yasha seems to hesitate briefly. Her mismatched eyes swiftly go from Beau’s face to the rest of her body and then back. “I’m strong. Like, really fucking strong. I could probably crush you with my bare hands if I wanted to.”

This statement shouldn’t arouse Beau, but it does. “Do you want to?”

Yasha shakes her head. 

Beau grabs her jaw firmly and pulls her down so that she meets her at her level. “Then you’re gonna be a good girl and be careful to control yourself, yeah?”

Yasha nods vigorously and Beau could swear she just heard a low moan escape her parted lips. She pulls her in for a kiss, still holding her jaw as she grabs her hip to bring their two bodies together. She’s not soft, but she warned Yasha about it. It’s immediately tongues and teeth. She bites Yasha’s bottom lip just before parting from her. She nibbles her neck and then licks it up to her ear and whispers.

“I really want you, and if you think that’s what you need right now, I’m down for it. But we barely know each other and I don’t want to overstep or do anything you don’t want. I need to be sure you will use these safewords if you need to. Can you assure me you will?”

Yasha nods.

“I want a verbal answer.” Her voice has dropped an octave and she feels Yasha shiver a bit.

“I will tell you if there’s anything wrong.”

“That’s all I needed to hear.”

With that, Beau pulls Yasha in another kiss. Her hand goes from her jaw to the back of her neck and she grabs it, even claws at it. She grazes her skin and this time, she is absolutely sure that she hears Yasha moan. Beau tastes it on her tongue like she would taste actual food, and she has to admit this sound is absolutely delicious.

Her other hand slips from Yasha’s hip and stops on her ass. She strokes it, but it’s not enough. She takes a handful of it, eluding another moan from Yasha.

“You have such a nice ass, baby.”

Yasha’s answer comes in the form of a whimper. Her eyes are closed. She opens them halfway and looks at Beau. The mercenary releases Yasha’s nape and her hand joins the other on her ass. She kisses down her neck, and when she gets where it connects with her shoulder she bites and sucks hard enough to leave a mark. Yasha exhales a long moan and she briskly reaches out and grips Beau’s waist.

When Beau is done, she nibbles her shoulder. Yasha immediately shrugs her shawl off to give her better access. Beau pauses briefly. “Gods, your whole body is a work of art.” She admires her muscular shoulders and arms and bites her bottom lip. She doesn’t bother hiding her desire. Why would she?

She still has her two hands on Yasha’s ass. She gives it a squeeze. “I think I’d like to touch it.  _ Really _ touch it. But these trousers are getting in the way. Should we get rid of them?”

Yasha nods vigorously. She goes for her belt, but Beau takes her hands with an unexpected gentleness.

“Let me take care of it.”

The way she whispers the words into Yasha’s ear sends electricity down her spine and leaves her with a dry mouth. Yasha can only nod in response.

Beau releases Yasha’s hands and then grabs her belt, less gentle this time. She works quickly, her fingers expertly unbuckling it. She can feel Yasha’s body shiver ever so slightly in what she assumes is excitation. It’s a sharp contrast with Beau’s composure. She’s not trembling at all and her gestures are fast and precise. When she finishes and drops the belt on the floor, Yasha barely reacts. Her eyes stay focused on Beau’s hands.

Beau grins. “I can use these fingers for something else later, if you’re a good girl.”

Yasha looks up at her and swallows hard.

“Or…” She grabs Yasha by the loops of her trousers and pulls her body against hers. “I can do it right now.” She slowly opens her trousers. “Would you like that, baby?”

Yasha nods.

“I want an answer, Yasha,” Beau growls in a low voice.

“Yes, please. I’d like that. Very much.”

“Look at you. I haven’t even started yet and you’re practically begging.” Beau doesn’t pull Yasha’s trousers down. She slips a hand inside and just cups her crotch, but it’s enough to make her moan. “Oh, baby.”

Yasha groans, but it’s hard to tell if it’s out of frustration or annoyance. She rolls her hips forward to try and get some friction, but Beau pulls back just enough to prevent it. One of Yasha’s hands goes to Beau’s shoulder and she grabs it abruptly.

Beau refrains a wince. “You weren’t lying. You’re pretty strong. But didn’t you say you would control yourself?” Yasha immediately releases her shoulder, but Beau clicks her tongue. “Too late for that. I guess you’re not getting what you so desperately want.”

Beau takes her hand out of her trousers and Yasha whines. Beau scowls at Yasha. “What’s that?”

Yasha purses her lips and looks at Beau with a blush on her cheeks. She still has one hand on Beau’s waist while the other is suspended mid-air after leaving her shoulder. Beau stares at her, trying to read her expression. Yasha seems to know what is coming, but she doesn’t look scared. The sadness that was so obvious earlier is almost completely gone now though.

Beau looks her up and down. “Did you just complain?” Yasha remains silent. “Turn around.” Yasha obeys. Beau pulls her trousers down until she reaches her boots and then stands up and leans close to her. “I wanted to touch your ass. I guess that’ll do.” With no warning, she lightly slaps her ass. She hears a gasp coming from Yasha. “I think you need a few of those to learn your lesson. What do you think?”

Yasha doesn’t answer, but she bends forwards and rests her hands on the wall she is facing.

“The first one was for not controlling your strength. I think you need a second one for complaining, and another one to make sure you understood. What do you think?”

Yasha slightly turns her head and nods. Beau puts one hand where she just slapped and strokes Yasha’s soft skin. She hears her sigh deeply. With her free hand, she slaps the other cheek of her ass. Yasha gasps like she did earlier. Beau gently strokes the skin that’s slowly turning red. She waits a moment and then slaps again. Yasha gasps and then moans.

She remains in the same position and looks over her shoulder. “I-I think I need an extra one. To make sure I will control my strength now.”

“Are you sure?”

Yasha nods firmly. “Storm.”

“You’re eager to learn. I like that.” Beau sees Yasha shiver.

She rubs her ass and then gives it a slap, this time harder than before. She hears a choked moan and bends down to kiss Yasha's ass. When she stands up, she leans on Yasha, who is still resting on the wall, and whispers in her ear. “You’re such a good girl. I’m sure you will behave now, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Beau slips her hands down Yasha’s thighs and up again. She grabs her hips and pulls them into her. “I think you deserve a reward, baby.” She feels Yasha shiver under her touch. “Why don’t you take your boots and pants off, and go lay on the bed?”

Yasha gulps and nods. Her hands leave the wall and go for her boots. She quickly undresses and when she is about to take her top off as well, Beau stops her.

“Leave it on.”

Yasha doesn’t question the order and obeys. She goes to the bed and Beau stays where she is, but she keeps her eyes on her. She likes the way Yasha moves. She’s never seen her fight, but she can tell her whole body is a weapon. Every step demonstrates an evident strength and power. Yasha is probably right. She could crush Beau if she wanted to.

When Yasha gets to the bed, she glances at Beau. The mercenary looks back. “Lay on your back. Stay near the edge.”

Yasha nods and does as told. Once she is on the bed, Beau slowly walks to her. She stops in front of Yasha and looks at her in silence. She can see tension in every muscle of her toned legs. Her hands are resting on her stomach and she is looking at Beau with a mixture of excitation and trepidation.

“You’re beautiful.” The blush comes back to Yasha’s cheeks. It’s lovely. Beau takes a step forward and Yasha immediately spreads her legs to make room for her. Beau grins. “Look how eager you are.” She gently brushes Yasha’s legs with the tip of her fingers and feels her shudder. She kneels on the bed, one leg on each side of Yasha, and bends down until her lips are just inches from hers. “Spreading just for me.” Yasha exhales shakily.

Beau traces the line tattooed on her chin and then cups her face. She kisses her and teases her with the tip of her tongue. Yasha grants her access with no resistance. Beau licks Yasha’s upper lip and swallows the moan she receives in return. While they’re kissing, Yasha keeps her hands to herself, never touching or grabbing Beau.

When Beau breaks the kiss to suck another mark on Yasha’s neck, her free hand goes to Yasha’s chest. She grabs her breast and kneads it over her corset, or whatever this is supposed to be called. The name of this piece of clothing is the least of Beau’s concerns right now. Yasha moans, but she quickly smothers the sound. Beau groans. “I want to hear you.” She squeezes and this time Yasha is a little louder when she expresses her pleasure. “Your moans are divine, baby.”

Beau bites all along Yasha’s collarbone and the woman under her quickly becomes a whimpering mess. She tugs her corset up her chest and then slips one hand under it to touch her breast without any barrier this time. Pinching her nipple between her thumb and index finger, she rolls it slowly. Yasha moans and it’s a little louder again.

“Sit up.”

Yasha obeys and Beau quickly gets rid of the corset. Once Yasha is completely naked she lays back on the bed and Beau gives her breasts all the attention they deserve. She is straddling Yasha and soon she feels her lifting her hips every once in a while, probably to get her to touch her. “Easy. I’m gonna give you what you want, baby. But you have to be a good girl.”

Yasha whines, but she nods and stops stirring. Beau leaves one more hickey on her shoulder and then crawls down Yasha’s body. She kneels on the ground between her legs and grabs them. She tugs a little and waits for Yasha to help her before pulling her closer to her. When she has her just on the edge of the bed, she kisses the inside of her thighs. Yasha lifts herself up on her elbows and looks down at her.

Beau is getting closer to her crotch, but then she travels back down her thigh. She alternates between kisses and bites and Yasha’s breath starts picking up. Beau gets closer again, but she goes at a frustratingly slow pace. When she gets where the leg connects with Yasha’s hip, she bites harder. Yasha inhales sharply and her head falls backwards. Beau looks at the dark mark she left and then puts a soft kiss on it. “I love how it looks on your pale skin. It’s beautiful.” Yasha mumbles an answer that Beau doesn’t understand, but she doesn’t really pay attention.

She repositions herself between Yasha’s legs and slowly lowers until she is sure Yasha can feel her breath play with her hair every time she exhales. She gently pushes her legs apart and Yasha immediately spreads them wider. Her glistening cunt tells all about how aroused she is. “I haven’t touched you and you’re so wet already.” Yasha answers with a soft moan.

Beau looks at her. She waits until Yasha looks back and when she does, she lowers her head and slowly licks her cunt with her tongue as flat and wide as possible. Yasha immediately quakes and moans. But it’s still not loud enough to Beau’s taste and she groans. “I want to hear you. I want everybody to hear you. I want them to know how good I’m fucking you.”

“Then fuck me already.”

Beau shoots a look at Yasha. She stares at her for a moment and Yasha looks back. Her face is challenging and it makes Beau want to deny her a little longer. “I’m sure you can ask more nicely than that.”

Yasha remains silent and keeps staring at her. Beau suddenly slaps the inside of her thigh. Yasha yelps and her defiance drops. Beau stands up and slowly takes one mitten off. “It will probably be more painful without those.” She takes off the other one just as slowly. “And I can hit harder.” Yasha gulps.

Beau puts her mittens down on the bed and looks at Yasha. “Now let’s try again, shall we?” She lets the silence last a little. “You want me to fuck you?”

“Yes.”

“What do you say when you’re asking for something?”

Yasha doesn’t answer.

Beau puts her hands back on Yasha's thighs. She looks at her while she brushes her skin, the stroke slowly turning into scratching as she gets closer to where she can only assume Yasha wants her the most. Her moan confirms it. “We can play this game all night long, but I think I know who will break first.” Beau stops right before she reaches Yasha’s cunt and looks at the red marks she’s left on her pale skin. “I will gladly fuck you, baby. You just need to ask nicely, like a good girl.”

Yasha grits her teeth for a few seconds and eventually gives up. “Please.  _ Please _ , fuck me.”

Beau lets the tiniest of grins crack her face. “That’s a good girl.” She doesn’t leave Yasha waiting any longer. She kneels down and gives her cunt a good lick. Yasha’s hips immediately jump and Beau has to grab them and lock them to the bed. “I would really appreciate it if you didn’t crush my nose.”

Yasha stutters an apology that turns into a moan when Beau licks her cunt again, collecting her juice on her tongue. It’s intoxicating. “You taste so fucking good, baby.”

Beau gives another lick and looks up. Yasha bites down on her bottom lip and closes her eyes. “I said I wanted to hear you.” Beau gives one long lick and when she reaches Yasha’s clit, with a flick of her tongue she eludes a brief but loud moan. “That’s better.” She repeats it a few times and each time, Yasha gets a little louder.

From there, Beau keeps her eyes focused on Yasha. She observes all her reactions: the twitches of her face, the changes in her breathing, the moans and whimpers that escape her mouth. She watches and listens closely and makes a mental note of every sign indicating if she likes what she is doing or not. This is one of Beau’s favorite parts. Studying every little detail, making theories on what works or doesn’t work and checking these theories, making sure to remember all of her observations.

Most times, the women she has sex with are just one-night hookups, and this will probably be the case with Yasha, so memorizing these details is in fact useless. But she can’t help it. She knows this is a borderline obsession, but she doesn’t care. It feels just like when she is hired to find someone or to dig up dirt. Apart from punching people in the face, investigating is her favorite part of her job as a mercenary.

Her tongue is starting to feel numb and Yasha is getting wetter with each passing minute. Beau slows down a bit. “Do you want me to fuck you now?”

“Yes.” Yasha’s voice is wrecked and it makes the heat that’s been growing between Beau’s legs almost painful.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, please.”

“You want my fingers inside of you?”

“ _ Please. _ ”

Beau tries to hide the shiver that goes through her whole body when she hears how eager Yasha is. She stands up and kneels on the bed to bend down over Yasha. She is about to give her a kiss, but she briskly pauses. She’s had women before who hated tasting themself. “You taste so fucking good. Would you--”

Before she can ask her question, Yasha grabs the back of her neck and pulls her into a kiss. She immediately moans when their lips meet and it sends another shiver through Beau’s body. Yasha strokes her undercut and then grabs the short hair on top of her head. Their tongues dance together and Yasha moans again. She then licks Beau’s lips with a great deal of care. Beau realizes Yasha is thoroughly cleaning up the mess she made. And she didn’t even have to ask her to do it. That’s so fucking hot.

When they part, they’re both panting heavily. Beau looks at Yasha and she knows her gaze must be hazy right now. “Fuck.”

Yasha’s cheeks are a lovely pink, but Beau barely gets time to see it as Yasha pulls her closer to kiss her chin where some of her slick remains. When she is done, she gently nibbles Beau’s jaw.

Beau feels dizzy. She’s never had a lover like Yasha before, so eager and zealous, and while she is enjoying it a lot, it’s about to become overwhelming. But she has to remain in control. She pulls back and looks at Yasha. “It’s time to get your reward, baby.”

Yasha whimpers and wiggles a bit. Beau stands up from the bed and kneels back on the floor between Yasha’s legs. She licks her cunt a few times and soon Yasha is whining and panting like she was just a moment ago. Beau circles her clit with her thumb and then teases her entrance, gently at first. “You’re dripping.” Beau slowly slips one finger in and quickly realizes it will bring no friction at all. “Gods, you’re so wet. I’m sure I can put two right away.” She looks up and sees Yasha nod vigorously.

She adds another finger and even then, they go in easily. “You’re taking it so well.” She starts with a slow pace to stretch Yasha a little and puts her mouth on her clit. She sucks it and Yasha’s head rolls back as she moans loudly. This sounds like a symphony to Beau’s ears.

Beau works the same pace for some time and when she feels Yasha is ready, she looks up. “Would you like a third one, baby?”

“Please.”

Yasha’s voice is barely recognizable at this point. It sounds more like an animal growling than a human. But Beau is pretty sure Yasha is not human, if the skeletal wings she saw that day are any indication.

She adds a third finger and Yasha takes it easily. She has kept her hands gripped on the sheets so far, but one of them suddenly grabs Beau’s hair and pulls. It’s now Beau’s turn to moan. Even if Yasha is holding close to the roots, with hair this short and with her strength, it’s a bit painful. The sensation is nothing but arousing however. But Beau hasn’t forgotten Yasha’s warning.

“You can pull my hair if you want or need to, but only if you can promise you will stay in control.” Yasha lets out a long whine, but her grip slightly lessens. “Good.”

Beau resumes her ministrations. She sucks Yasha’s clit and goes slow at first. She flicks her fingers to find this particular point and when she locates it, she gently presses on Yasha’s stomach with her free hand. She increases her pace and thrusts into Yasha mercillessly. Yasha moans louder and louder, but she keeps her word and doesn’t pull too hard on Beau’s hair. In fact, it’s just painful enough to make it exciting without actually hurting.

After a moment of this, Beau feels Yasha tense. Her legs quake and she is certain that it takes all of Yasha’s will not to close them onto her, which is fortunate as she is not sure she would be able to get out of the grapple. At some point, Yasha’s back suddenly arches. She keeps her legs spread, but she puts her feet on Beau’s back and pulls her even closer if possible. Beau feels her toes curl, and she continues pumping her fingers in and out.

“B-Beau…” Yasha sounds breathless and it turns the heat that’s been building inside of Beau into a raging inferno.

“Cum for me, baby.”

Beau looks up and sees that Yasha tries to say something, but her voice probably gets caught up in her throat. Her head rolls back, her fingers grip the bed sheets mercilessly, her toes dig into Beau’s back, and her whole body completely and perfectly freezes. Beau twists her fingers one last time and Yasha cries out her name.

Beau takes in the beauty of this woman in her most vulnerable moment. This is her favorite part. She likes watching her lovers when they come undone. It gives her a sense of satisfaction, and of pride too if she’s completely honest. It’s gratifying to know that she can give pleasure to someone, as temporary and futile as it is. Yasha’s eyes are shut tight and her brow is furrowed, but there’s no sign of sadness on her face at the moment, and that’s probably what gives Beau the most contentment.

After a while, Yasha’s body gets out of its petrification and her back heavily falls back on the mattress. Beau is going at a slower pace, but still going. But as she looks at Yasha she hears a small whine.

“Flower. Please, Beau. Flower. I-I--”

Beau immediately stops any movement and slowly takes her fingers out. Yasha lets out a sharp exhale in response and her entire body relaxes.

“Sorry.”

“No, it-it’s okay. I… just need a break.”

Yasha’s toes are no longer buried in Beau’s back and her legs are relaxed, but they’re still resting on Beau’s shoulders. Beau gently strokes them and peppers kisses on the inside of them. “Is it okay?”

“Yes. It feels good. Just don’t get too close, please.”

“Sure.” Beau stays away from Yasha’s center, where she is probably too sensitive to receive any attention at the moment. She keeps her touch and her kisses light so that she doesn’t overstimulate her. She knows all too well how uncomfortable it can be when you’re not ready to go back in yet. It can quickly become overwhelming, if not unpleasant plain and simple.

The remaining tension in Yasha’s body slowly fades away and her breathing goes back to normal. She is looking up at the ceiling, but Beau can see her eyes are half-closed and her gaze is a bit hazy. She is probably not quite back on earth yet.

“Tell me when you’re ready for round two. No rush. Just letting you know I’m ready when you are.”

Yasha doesn’t react at first. After a few seconds, she looks down. She reaches out and seems hesitant when she gently cups Beau’s face. Beau quietly looks back at her.

“Actually, I…” Yasha pauses. She looks Beau in the eye.

“Yeah?” Yasha remains silent. She keeps her hand on Beau’s cheek a little longer and then takes it away. Beau feels her shake a bit just before she lets go. “Yasha?” Still no answer, but this time Yasha looks away, visibly uncomfortable. “What’s wrong? You want to stop?”

Yasha looks back at Beau. She doesn’t seem surprised, more like… relieved? She nods. Relieved that Beau figured it out on her own and she didn’t have to say it, maybe.

“It’s okay. You just have to tell me and we stop.”

“What…” Yasha seems hesitant. “What about you?”

Beau smiles, probably the first genuine smile of the night she realizes. On the rare occasions the corners of her mouth do rise a little, smirks and smug grins are the norm. Actual smiles are the exception. “I can take care of myself if I really need to.” Her smile turns into a grin and Yasha gives her a coy smile in return.

“Do you?”

“Need to take care of myself?”

Yasha nods.

“Nah, I’m fine. Not that watching you come didn’t turn me on, because it did.” Yasha can’t hide her blush. “But I’m okay. It will wear off.”

“I… I don’t know if it’s something you like to do but…”

“Tell me.”

“Is it okay if we cuddle for a bit?”

It’s Beau’s turn to be surprised. Not that this is an uncommon request, a lot of the women she’s had sex with before like cuddling afterwards. Her surprise comes more from the fact that Yasha asked instead of pulling her up and just doing it.

She realizes Yasha is waiting for an answer and snaps out of her thoughts. “Of course.”

She stands up and joins Yasha on the bed. She is about to lay next to Yasha, but the latter pulls her into a kiss. It’s very different from the other ones. This one is soft, slow, and chaste. There is no tongue, no biting or nibbling, no moan. Just small sighs and tenderness. No attempt to turn each other one. A kiss just for the sake of kissing. Now, that’s unusual.

Beau is still fully clothed and her hood suddenly falls on her head as they are kissing. Yasha pulls back and chuckles. “Sorry about that,” Beau awkwardly apologizes. Awkwardly? This hasn’t happened in years. Beau has always had emotional walls up, and the persona she’s built when she became a mercenary has never cracked before. Yasha definitely has a strange effect on her, and she doesn’t know how she feels about it.

“Maybe you should make yourself comfortable,” Yasha suggests as she pushes the hood off of Beau’s head.

“Thanks for allowing me to do so in my own room,” Beau replies with a grin.

“Sorry. It-It’s not what I meant, I--”

“Don’t worry. I’m messing with you.” Beau stands up. “I usually sleep in my underwear. Is that okay with you?”

Yasha rises on her elbows and throws a surprised look at Beau. “I-I didn’t think I would stay the night.”

“I told you. You can share my room for the night, and I wasn’t speaking just about sex. Don’t feel like you  _ have  _ to, just know that you can stay.”

Beau’s very casual tone seems to take Yasha off guard. “Um, okay.”

“Okay, you will stay?”

“Yes. I might be gone when you wake up in the morning, but I’ll stay for now.”

Beau raises an eyebrow at this comment, but she doesn’t question Yasha. “So? Is it okay if I sleep in my underwear?”

“Yes, no problem!” Just as Yasha finishes talking, she seems embarrassed by her own eagerness and blushes a little. Beau can’t help grinning. Yasha’s awkwardness is really endearing.

Beau takes her hood off, because really, this is what it is. The piece of clothing is sleeveless, just like her crop top, and covers only the upper part of her torso. It’s mainly functional, allowing her to hide her face when she needs to. If she’s completely honest, she also thinks that it makes her look cooler. She takes her boots and pants off and when she turns, she catches Yasha glancing at her tattoo.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a little creepy when you stare like that?”

“Sorry.”

“Just kidding.” Beau sits down on the bed and she sees Yasha peeking at her tattoo hesitantly. “I don’t mind.”

Yasha nods and starts examining her tattoo. Now that her upper body is covered only by her breast band, the design is almost completely visible. Only the part that’s on her back is still hidden. Usually, people question her about the signification, and they often seem disappointed when she tells them she just thought it was beautiful. Yasha doesn’t ask anything. She only watches for a moment, taking her time, and then looks Beau in the eye. “It’s beautiful.”

“Thanks.” This is a lame answer, but Beau realizes she has nothing else to say. She usually always finds something to retort, no matter what. She takes great pride in her wit and her sharp tongue, but they seem to be both gone at the moment. The effect Yasha has on her is truly unsettling.

Yasha is still laying across the bed. Beau quickly stands up when she starts moving to reposition herself into the bed so that she has her head on the pillows. She slips under the covers and then gives a head motion to invite Beau to join her. Beau lays down next to her and pulls the covers over their two bodies. Yasha gently takes one of Beau’s hands and rolls on her side, prompting Beau to come closer. The mercenary puts her chest right against Yasha’s back and wraps her arm around her. She feels her curling up and hears her hum under her breath. “I thought softness wasn’t your thing.” Beau scoffs but doesn’t retort.

The scene must look a bit ridiculous from the outside because of the height and size difference, but it feels nice. Beau rarely initiates cuddles after sex, if ever, but she quite likes it in fact. It’s rewarding to not only give pleasure, but also tenderness and comfort, even if this part too is temporary and futile. If she was asked about it, she would simply say that aftercare is an important part, which in itself is true as well.

After a moment, she starts wondering if Yasha is sleeping. She’s probably not, if her breathing is any indication. Beau gives her hand a small squeeze and when Yasha answers with a squeeze of her own, Beau clears her throat.

“I don’t know which one of us will wake up alone tomorrow morning, since that seems to be something that will happen, but… Your friends and you seem to know the Gentleman pretty well. If you ever need me, you know how to find me. There are probably other people that would be able to find me, but he’s one of the options at your disposal.”

Yasha turns her head and looks over her shoulder. She stares at Beau with an uncertain expression. “Is that… an invitation to contact you again?”

“No. Yes. I-I don’t know.” Stuttering is not something that happens to Beau very often, and yet here she is. “I mean, it could be professional, you know.”

“Does that mean I would have to call you Beauregard then?”

Yasha has a deadpan expression and Beau is not sure how to read it. Is she joking right now? She blinks. “Oh. That. No, I guess Beau is fine.”

“Is that what my friends called you when you worked for them?”

“ _ With _ them,” Beau corrects. “I didn’t offer to be called anything other than Beauregard, so no. Well… There was Jester, who always called me Beau during the trip back to Zadash. I gave up on correcting her after the first day.”

A thin smile forms on Yasha’s face. “It does sound like her.”

“Anyway. I was just saying that if you or your friends want to work together again, or if you need my help with something, or… Um, you know how to find me.”

“We do,” Yasha says with a nod.

Beau finds nothing else to say. She feels awkward, even more when Yasha doesn’t look away and keeps staring at her. “Well. Good night.”

“Yeah. Good night, Beau.”

With that, Yasha turns her head, facing away, and as she does she gives Beau’s hand a little tug and holds it close to her. Beau feels strange about it, but she doesn’t say anything. She pulls the covers a bit higher and nests comfortably against the heat of Yasha’s body.

This might be the last time she sees Yasha, or this might not, there is no way for her to know. All she knows is that wiping away the sadness from her face, even just for a brief moment, felt nice.

* * *

Beau doesn’t know how much time has passed when she wakes up, but it’s still nighttime. She immediately notices the bed is empty and the sheets are hardly lukewarm. She hears muffled noises that indicate Yasha is still in the room though. Beau is impressed nevertheless. She’s already had lovers leaving in the middle of the night - or she has herself - but no one has ever managed to sneak out of the bed without waking her up.

Beau rolls over and glances at Yasha. She is fully dressed and finishes adjusting the two swords in her back. She immediately catches her gaze. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“It’s all right.”

“I-I’ve got to go. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Yasha. You can leave whenever you wish.”

“Yeah, I know.” Yasha looks like she is about to say something else, but she closes her mouth and falls silent.

“Go. I’ll pretend I’m still sleeping.” Beau grins, but Yasha doesn’t smile back, not even a little.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know. The amazing sex.” Beau scoffs but doesn’t comment. “And for not urging me to talk.”

Beau gets more serious this time. "I've come to realize that sometimes, you need to sit in your misery a little while before being able to talk about it."

Yasha thinks for a moment. "I think it's true."

"I'm not there yet myself, so."

Yasha nods, but remains silent. She doesn't move and for a moment, it's very awkward, until Beau speaks. "Take care of yourself, Yasha. It was nice spending a part of the night with you."

"Yeah, it was nice. Goodbye, Beau."

Yasha adjusts her swords again, even if they don't need to be adjusted. She walks to the door, opens it, and at the last moment, she stops and looks back. Beau closes her eyes and pulls the covers up to her face, like a child pretending to sleep. She hears the tiniest chuckle and she opens her eyes. There is a small smile on Yasha's face, but it's so sad.

Beau completely drops her playful pretense. "Bye, Yasha."

Her tone sounds way too solemn and she instantly hates it. Goodbyes with her hookups are always awkward, but with Yasha, there's something else. Something more.

Yasha gives her a nod. She slips through the door and quietly closes it behind her. Beau hears her walking away, and right when her footsteps are no longer audible, there is a low rumble of thunder in the distance.

Beau didn't check the window when they entered the room, her mind was somewhere else entirely, but the owner assured her that there was a view on the street. She specifically asked for it. She is suddenly tempted to get out of bed and go to the window to watch Yasha leave, but she refrains from doing it. Instead, she breathes in and out a few times to try to calm her nerves that seem to have built up at some point without her noticing. When she feels a bit calmer, she closes her eyes.

Another rumble of thunder, louder than the previous one. Wind starts picking up shortly after and Beau goes back to sleep with the sound of rain hitting the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those wondering, Caleb and Nott used a Scroll of Sending to contact the Gentleman.


	2. You fucked up my life (so hey, why do I miss you sometimes?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything has been pretty clear and simple in Beau’s life for the past few years. She’s a mercenary and she’s hella good at this. She’s hired to do stuff, she gets the work done, and she gets paid for it. She’s a loner, sure, but she likes it.
> 
> Yes, everything has been working fine for her since she decided to be on her own.
> 
> But it seems that the Mighty Nein are on a mission to fuck up her well-oiled routine, with Jester as their leader.  
> \---  
> Jester keeps sending messages to Beau, and Beau tries really hard to pretend she’s not enjoying this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter than the first one, but I enjoyed writing it to be honest. I feel like the pace is quite slow (probably because there’s a lot of talking) and I don’t know, it’s soothing in a way.
> 
> I should probably mention that there's no smut in this chapter. Sorry, little gremlins. But! There will probably be in the next one.
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing!  
> \---  
> Chapter's title from (Hey Why) Miss You Sometime by P!nk

She jumps with her arms above her head. She’s suspended in the air for just a split second before gravity pulls her back to earth. No time to stop. She drops to the ground and catches herself with her hands. Her chest touches the ground and then she pushes herself up. Back to her feet, and she repeats the same sequence of movements.

Three more repetitions and Beau is done with her last series of burpees. She’s panting and she can feel sweat dripping down her whole body. She leans forward a little with her hands on her hips. A drop rolls from her forehead along the bridge of her nose and when it gets to the tip it falls. Beau watches the small dark patch it forms on the dirt. It looks like those big raindrops that announce an upcoming storm in summer. They fall sporadically at first and then suddenly it’s like the skies let down all the water of the world at once.

When she was a kid, Beau once saw the wall of rain coming right at her. It was a bit scary, but mesmerizing also, and it felt purifying to be hit by this force of nature. It lasted just a few minutes and when it was over, the clouds scattered almost immediately. The sky was blue again, the sun was shining, and the only proof of what had just occurred were her soaked hair and clothes. Her father scolded her when she went home that day. Just another excuse to yell at her and tell her how undisciplined and unnerving she was.

Beau suddenly feels a mental tingle. She’s experienced this sensation a couple times before, when clients were trying to reach her through a  _ Sending  _ spell to communicate information or get an update on a job she was working on. She stands straight and hears a familiar voice.

_ “Hi, Beau! It’s me, Jester! We’re going to leave Zadash soon. Are you still in the city? Where are you? How have you been? Good?” _

Beau thought she would never hear about the Mighty Nein ever again after meeting Yasha a few days ago. She really thought it was the last she’d see of this strange group of people. But she’s once again proved wrong. Maybe Yasha went back to the party and told them she had met her. Why else would Jester suddenly reach out?

Beau pushes her interrogations away. “Hi, Jester. I left Zadash long ago. I’m doing good.” She briefly hesitates to mention Yasha but then decides not to.

She wipes the sweat from her face with the back of her hand and drinks some water. She thinks this will probably be the end of the conversation, but she receives another message.

_ “Where are you? We’re going to Nicodranas. Do you want to come with us? It’s beautiful there! Have you ever seen the ocean? It’s really--” _

Beau waits a moment, expecting another message, but nothing happens. She is bewildered. What is the matter with this tiefling? She thought she was asking her to come with them because she had a work offer, but it’s apparently not the case.

She’s known Jester for just a few days when they were traveling back to Zadash, but what little she saw of her makes her think that she just wants her to hang out with them. But the thing is she doesn’t want to have anything to do with this bunch of misfits. She is one herself, she won’t deny it, but she’s good on her own. She hates small talk, she doesn’t need someone sending her messages to ask how she’s doing and she certainly doesn’t want to travel with people like the Mighty Nein.

Her voice was quite neutral previously; not friendly, but not aggressive either. This time, she makes sure her tone is cold enough to convey her annoyance. “I have work to do. Don’t contact me unless you have a job to offer.”

She rummages through her satchel in search of a cloth or something to wipe off the sweat. She is relieved when after a few minutes, she hasn’t received another message.

She gathers her stuff and goes where she located a small river the day before. When she gets there, she does a quick scan of the surroundings and investigates to make sure no one came here recently or is trying to ambush her. Once she is sure that she’s safe, she fills her waterskin. One last check and she undresses to quickly wash herself before she hits the road. She steps into the stream and splashes water on herself. It’s freezing cold, but it feels good after a long workout.

As she is getting rid of the sweat and the dirt of the previous days of travel, her mind slowly drifts away and she is brought back to her brief time with the Mighty Nein.

* * *

The cart and the two carriages are slowly making their way across the hills. They still have a long way to go before they reach Zadash. Yasha left the day before and they have no idea where she went. Caleb said it was better not to try to contact her for now.

Beau is traveling in the cart where most of the party members are. Nott is in the carriage with Caleb, and Fjord, Caduceus and Jester are with her. They’ve been chatting from time to time, but even if Beau doesn’t really know the half-orc and the tiefling very well, she can tell that seeing the grave of Mollymauk the day before shook them pretty bad. She’s been listening closely to their conversations, but never speaking, except when she was asked a question.

It’s getting close to dust and they will probably stop for the night soon. Everybody is silent. Caduceus appears to be napping. Fjord is staring in the distance with an absent expression. Jester is writing in a notebook, or maybe sketching, Beau is not sure. The tiefling glances at her a few times in a row. Beau notices and looks back.

“What are you doing?”

Jester stops and crawls to Beau, who is sitting alone in the corner opposite to where the Mighty Nein are. She sits down next to her and opens her notebook, or rather her sketchbook, Beau realizes. She sees a drawing of herself. It’s very well done and she doesn’t hide her admiration.

“You’re very talented.”

“Thanks,” Jester says with a big smile.

“Do you do a lot of those?”

“Yes! I’ve always liked to draw and I have sketches from all of our adventures. Look.”

She flips the pages backward to show Beau her other sketches. They are more or less detailed. Some of them are quickly drawn in a goofy way, others are very realistic. She hands Beau her sketchbook for her to go through it.

“That’s very impressive.”

Beau turns the pages until she comes upon a tiefling she doesn’t recognize. She stops and looks at Jester. “Is it…”

Jester nods, “It’s Molly.”

Beau looks back at the sketch. There are no colors, and yet his outfit could be called colorful. She goes through a few more pages and sees other sketches of him. She starts to feel uncomfortable, like she is peeking in someone's privacy without permission, even though Jester spontaneously gave her her sketchbook. She closes it and gives it back to the tiefling.

“I think you would have liked him,” Jester says with a small smile.

“Judging by what I heard you guys say about him, I think I would have hated him.”

Jester chuckles sadly and sniffles. Her eyes are teary, but she doesn’t cry, even if Beau sees it’s hard for her not to.

Beau has the words on the tip of her tongue. She would like to offer condolences, but for some reason, she has a feeling Jester would see right through it and know it’s not entirely sincere and she’s saying it just to say something. So she doesn’t say anything.

Jester puts her sketchbook in her bag and pulls out a deck of cards. Beau throws her an intrigued look. “What is this?”

“These were his tarot cards. Nott took them for me to keep.”

The only words that come to Beau’s mind are a lame  _ ‘That’s very kind of her’ _ but she knows it would sound horribly fake. Just like she can’t force a smile even when she needs to, she can’t pretend in this kind of situation. So she doesn’t say anything.

“He read my fortune on the day we met.”

“You believe in that kind of thing?”

Jester shrugs as she is looking down at the cards in her hands. “Molly knew things.”

Beau feels bad seeing her so sad. “Would you like to pull one now?”

Jester looks up and nods as she forces a sad smile. Beau is a bit surprised when she hands her the cards, but she takes them and shuffles them.

She presents them to Jester, and the tieling picks one and flips it. She smiles, but her eyes are teary again. “The Eye. It’s one of the cards I pulled that day. He said I had already found the clue I was looking for but I didn’t know what it was yet.” She stares at the card for a while and then gives it to Beau. “You should take it.”

“Why?”

“Maybe you wouldn’t have liked him, but I have a feeling he would have liked you.”

Beau hesitates, but she feels like this is important for Jester, so she indulges her and takes the card. “Thanks, I guess.” She puts it inside her satchel and gives the deck back to Jester.

They fall silent and no one speaks for a moment. Caduceus is still sleeping apparently and Fjord has been glancing at them, but he’s quiet. Jester fidgets with the cards for a while and then puts them back in her bag.

She turns to Beau. “Where are you from?” Her voice is back to normal and she’s giving Beau what seems to be a genuine smile this time. The sudden change in her attitude is a bit unsettling.

“A shitty town with nothing but rocks and vineyards.”

“What is it called?”

“I don’t think the name would ring any bell.”

“Beau,” Jesters complains in a childish voice, “what is the name of your hometown?”

“Beauregard,” she corrects.

Jester ignores it. “Why won’t you tell me? I wanna know.”

Fjord clears his throat. “Jester. Maybe she doesn’t want to share it. Or maybe she can’t.”

“What makes you say I can’t?” Beau asks.

“I don’t know. Maybe your work prevents you from sharing this. For your safety, or the safety of others.” He must notice her frown as he quickly adds, ”I don’t mean it in a bad way.”

“Come on, Beau!” Jester insists. “I just want to know you better.”

Beau doesn’t bother correcting her this time. “Why? In a few days we will be back to Zadash and we will go our separate ways and never see each other again.”

“Doesn’t mean we can’t become friends.”

Beau scoffs. “You want to become friends? With me?”

“Yeah! You seem nice.” Beau scoffs again, but Jester doesn’t let it discourage her. “Speaking of your work, you must travel a lot?”

“I do.”

“Where have you been?”

“Lots of places.”

“Have you ever been to the Menagerie Coast?”

“A couple times.”

“Really?!” Jester turns to the half-orc. “Did you hear that, Fjord?” She looks back at Beau. “That’s where Fjord and I are from!”

“Amazing,” Beau says with no enthusiasm whatsoever. But her lack of excitement doesn’t seem to do anything to diminish Jester’s.

“Have you been to Xhorhas?”

“Once.”

“Yasha is from Xhorhas!”

This time, Beau’s interest is picked, but she does her best to hide it. “Really? Explains the pale skin.”

“Why?”

“I’ve never been to the capital, but I heard there’s not a lot of sun over there.”

“She’s not from the capital. But I heard terrible things about this place.”

“Ehh. Not all the things we hear are true.”

“Which ones are true then?”

“Enough of me,” Beau quickly says to change the subject. “Why don’t you tell me about yourself? You said you were from the Menagerie Coast. Where exactly?”

“Fjord is from Port Damali and I’m from Nicodranas.”

“I’ve never been to any of these places, but I heard Nicodranas is nice.”

“Oh my gods! Do you know the Ruby of the Sea?”

“I do. She’s quite popular.”

“She’s my mom!”

Beau’s interest is once more picked. “She is?”

“Yes! And on top of being the best lay ever, she’s a really good singer.”

“I.... didn’t know she was known for her vocal prowesses.”

“Well, if you stay with us, maybe one day we can go visit her and you can see her perform.”

Beau scoffs. “Yeah. Not happening.”

Jester grins mischievously. Beau has known her only for a few days, but she knows she has probably something in mind right now.

They keep chatting despite Beau’s best efforts to end it, and even when they stop for the night, Jester keeps the conversation going. Ophelia Mardun stays apart from them and the rest of the Mighty Nein are not very talkative - Beau can see that except Caduceus and Jester, they don’t really trust her, but she can’t blame them for that - but Jester seems unstoppable. She tells Beau about the origin of the name of their party, her childhood in Nicodranas, and her so-called deity who sounds a lot like a cult leader rather than a god but who is ‘ _ pretty _ cool’ according to her. Several times during the evening, Beau catches herself smiling and even laughing, which is rare enough to be worth noticing.

She would never admit it, but maybe, just  _ maybe _ , this little blue tiefling managed to crack her impenetrable shell.

* * *

Beau steps into the hot water and sits down. She leans against the stone with her arms spread on each side of her. She rests her head on the edge of the bath and closes her eyes as she lets out a long and deep sigh. She feels her sore muscles slowly relax.

It’s not the first time she’s coming to the Steam's Respite. She’s visiting quite often actually, when she comes back from a mission or stops by Zadash. But even if it’s become a habit by now, every single time feels divine. Relaxing at the bathhouse helps her get out of a job once it’s over and recenter for her next work. Maybe today she will get a massage as well. That would be nice.

Her consciousness is starting to drift away and she can feel herself falling asleep when she suddenly gets startled by a voice. She immediately opens her eyes and sits up. She looks around and quickly realizes the voice is inside of her head.

_ “Hi, Beau! How are you? We’re on our way to Nicodranas, everything’s going well. Caduceus found a treasure on the side of the road today.” _

Beau easily recognizes Jester’s voice. She rolls her eyes before closing them and lets her head gently fall back on the edge. Surely if she ignores her, she will leave her alone. That’s what any reasonable person with a sense of personal boundaries would do, right?

_ “Don’t know if you got my last message. Our invitation to come to Nicodranas still stands. We’re still in the Empire. Come, that’ll be fun!” _

Beau clenches her fists and sighs. Without checking if there’s someone nearby who can hear her, she responds. “I did get your first message. I’m not interested, thank you. Don’t contact me unless you have work for me.”

She waits for a few minutes and is satisfied when she hears nothing but distant chats and the sound of hot water pouring into the bathes. She adjusts her sitting position to get more comfortable and fully enjoys the hour she paid for.

* * *

They’ve been travelling all together for ten days now. Beau can’t believe the trip back to Zadash is taking them so long when she was able to get to Shadycreek Run in only four days. Sure, she was travelling alone, she had a very good horse, and she didn’t sleep much, but still. Leaving the party behind and going back to Zadash on her own is tempting, but she no longer has her horse and they’re in the middle of nowhere, so there’s no way she’s getting another one. She might as well travel with the Mighty Nein for five or six more days. And she’s definitely not doing this because she’s started to kind of like them.

When they stop for the night, Beau willingly offers to take the first watch. It’s been raining all day and they’re all exhausted, so they gladly accept. Only Caduceus offers to stay up with her, and when she says he doesn’t need to, he insists.

At first, she thinks he does this because he might not trust her either, contrary to what she originally thought, or maybe because his companions asked him to. But as she observes him, she sees he is completely relaxed and doesn’t even pay attention to her. But then again, she’s noticed how perceptive he was; he might be watching her without actually watching her.

Time passes and there’s no threat of any kind. The night is silent, except for Nott’s light snores and whines, and an owl hooting in the distance every now and then. Or maybe two? Beau doesn’t know. There are moments where it sounds like two birds are calling each other, and others where she could swear there’s only one making different cries. It is, or they are, too far away to be sure.

Unable to ascertain if Caduceus is observing her without looking directly at her or not, she ends up glancing in his direction. He’s sitting in a straight position and his eyes are open, but he’s not moving at all. If Beau wasn’t so perceptive, she could almost miss his chest slightly rising and falling and mistake him for a statue. A pink-haired statue, but still a statue.

At some point, he glances at her exactly when she does and their eyes meet. Beau knows she’s been busted. He’s probably noticed her watching a while ago actually, so she doesn’t bother pretending and she looks right at him. Anyone would probably get offended - at least Beau would - but Caduceus only smiles at her. His peaceful composure is unnerving at times.

She stares at him in silence a little longer, but she eventually gives in to curiosity. “Why did you help them without asking for anything in return?” she asks matter-of-factly.

“You mean… When you came to me and asked to help free Fjord, Jester and Yasha?”

“Yes.”

“Why wouldn’t have had?”

“You didn’t have to. They were strangers to you, still are in some way. They didn’t offer anything and you didn’t ask for anything, you just aided them. Why?”

“I saw people in dire need of help and I did what felt right.”

“But you didn’t ask for anything in return, and then you even went with them when the job was done.”

“Why would I ask for something when I don’t need anything?”

“You could have more than you currently have.”

“I could. But I don’t desire more.”

“You still didn’t tell me why you went with them. Helping is one thing, leaving your home is another. You seem very attached to the Grove.”

“I am.”

“Why did you leave then?”

Caduceus smiles. He seems amused by her questions, but she’s not sure she’s reading him correctly. He's very mysterious. She’s not used to facing people like him, people she can’t figure out and whose secret language she can’t decipher. She doesn’t like it.

“The Grove has been… dying for some time. I don’t know if dying is the right word. But it’s not like it used to be, and the… illness that’s causing this is spreading. I have to do something. And somehow, going with them felt like the right thing to do.”

The owl hoots again and Caduceus looks in the direction it’s coming from, but Beau keeps staring at him. He looks back at her after a few seconds and smiles.

“I don’t understand.”

He gives her a nod. “It’s all right. I don’t fully understand either. But I’m sure everything will make sense at some point.”

“You said you worship the Wildmother, right?”

“Yes.”

“Is it your faith that pushes you in this direction?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re willing to bet everything on that?”

“That’s what faith is about, isn’t it?”

“I guess so. I’ve never been much of a believer myself.”

“I’m sure you believe in something. There must be something driving you, even if it’s not faith.”

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Well. Whatever it is that you trust, it led you to us. And I’m glad it did.”

Beau snorts. “I could almost believe that you like me.”

“I do like you, Miss Beauregard.”

Beau gets struck by the sincerity she hears in his voice and sees in his eyes. She’s left speechless, and Caduceus seems once again amused.

“Instinct.”

“Uh?”

“I think instinct is what drives you. It’s good. Instinct is a powerful thing and apparently it kept you alive so far, so yours must be trustworthy. But don’t rely on it too much.”

“Why not? You said it yourself, it’s kept me alive so far.”

“It has. But instinct, while powerful and vital, is also tricky. It doesn’t care about emotions, because the way it sees things, emotions are a weakness that exposes you to danger. Primal instinct is here to help you survive. It keeps you alive, but sometimes it also keeps you from living.”

Beau stares at him quietly.

His kind smile is back on his face. “I think the second watch will start soon.”

Caduceus slowly rises from his sitting position and walks over to Jester to wake her up. Beau is left pondering the meaning of his words as they sink into her.

There’s been a few times during the trip where she heard him talk with other members of the party and give advice. But Beau comes to the realization that while his wisdom is impressive when offered to someone else, it’s quite unsettling when received.

* * *

It’s the middle of the day. Beau doesn’t nap usually, but she’s been on reconnaissance all night and she needs to rest before striking at night. She climbs a tree and nests here, securing herself with a rope tied to a branch. She is sleeping but still on alert and ready for anything, as she’s learned to do for as long as she’s been living and travelling on her own.

The moment she feels this strange mental tingle, she wakes up and clenches the dagger she’s holding to her chest. She quickly realizes there’s no immediate threat and while her fight or flight mode makes her miss the beginning of the message, she still manages to make sense of it.

_ “... merchant today! I bought a blink dog and a crimson weasel. There was a super cool owl too.” _

Beau groans and replies. “That’s great, but still not work related.”

She knows there will probably be a second message, and it quickly comes to her.

_ “You sound groggy. Did I wake you up? I’m sorry! The owl would have been really great for you though, matched your aesthetic. Okay, bye!” _

Beau sighs and doesn’t reply.

_ “You there?” _

She’s surprised that Jester didn’t use all of her twenty-five words, but then she hears her voice again.

_ “Do you want us to buy the owl for you if we see this merchant again? Or we can get you another pet. Yeah?” _

Beau breathes in to try and calm down before she answers, but her voice comes out sharp despite her best efforts. “I don’t want an owl or any other pet. Bye, Jester.”

She is so upset that she almost gives up on going back to sleep. But she tries to calm down and tells herself she needs to sleep to be rested and ready at night.

Maybe, the thing that upsets her the most is that she had been waiting for a message for the past few days and wondering if something had happened to Jester or the Mighty Nein.

Eventually, Beau manages to go back to sleep. Memories mingle with dreams and bring her back to her time on the road with the Mighty Nein once more.

* * *

Beau is taking the second watch. That night, no one offers to stay up with her. Yet, someone is very much awake. It doesn’t take her long to notice Caleb is not sleeping and is observing her. In fact, although he’s laying down, he’s not even pretending to be sleeping. She glances at him a few times and sees he doesn’t react and keeps looking at her. She looks away and tries to shake off the feeling of discomfort to focus on the surroundings.

A cold wind is blowing and the sky is clear. Beau keeps her eyes peeled. She’s looking for any movement in the dark that would be suspect, her goggles helping her to see when she’s looking where the light of the campfire can’t reach. But despite her best efforts, she can’t ignore the gaze weighing on her.

She swiftly turns to Caleb and unlike her sudden and brisk move, her voice is calm. “You don’t sleep much, do you?”

He stays still for a moment and then pushes his blanket to the side and sits up. He remains silent, still staring right at Beau.

“I’ve seen you at night,” she says. “You often lie wide awake.”

“It seems that sleep doesn’t like me very much.”

“Or maybe  _ you _ don’t like it.”

He looks at her, seemingly gauging his response very carefully, as if he was about to reveal his biggest secret. “Maybe.”

Silence falls around. Beau stares at Caleb a little longer and then goes back to scanning the surroundings. She can see from the corner of her eye that he doesn’t move and he’s still looking at her. It’s really distracting and she has to fight not to look back.

After a while, he finally speaks. At least it makes things a little less awkward. “How do you do when you travel alone?”

Beau turns to him. “What do you mean, how do I do?”

“There’s no one to keep watch when you’re sleeping.”

“I keep watch myself.”

“Then you must not sleep much either.”

Beau feels a grin forming on her face, but she immediately suppresses it before it’s visible. “Maybe.”

“Really. How do you do it?”

“How did you do it before you met them?” she asks with a wave of her hand toward the rest of the group.

“I’ve never been alone on the road. I was with Nott before I met them.”

“And before Nott?”

Caleb doesn’t respond right away. He seems to be choosing his words very carefully, just like he did earlier. “I started travelling when I met her.”

“You two seem to be very close.”

“We are.”

“How did you meet?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me how you’ve survived alone on the road.”

This time, Beau doesn’t hide her grin. She'd be lying if she said she doesn’t like Caleb’s wit, no matter how rude she finds him sometimes. But politeness is not her strong suit either, after all. “I’ve learned to never be fully asleep.”

“It must be exhausting.”

“Not as much as not sleeping at all.”

“Fair enough.”

There is a brief silence, but Beau quickly breaks it. “So? I answered your question. What about Nott and you?”

Surprisingly enough, this time Caleb doesn’t hesitate at all before giving his answer. “We met in prison. We broke out and have been travelling together since then.”

Beau glances at the goblin. She seems to be sleeping, but she is so shifty that Beau never really knows when she actually is. She looks back at Caleb. “She’s a bit weird.”

“That, I won’t deny.”

“But she seems truly loyal to you.”

“And I to her.”

“It’s good to have people in your life that you can trust.”

“She is one of the few.” He briefly pauses and thinks. “She must be the only one I fully trust, actually.”

“What about the other members of your party?”

Caleb glances at them one by one. His eyes lay on Jester a little longer before he looks back at Beau. “It’s… complicated.”

“So you didn’t trust Mollymauk?”

He seems hesitant, but this time, Beau feels like he’s not trying to hide or disguise the truth. It’s like he doesn’t know the answer to this question. He slips his hand in his pouch and pulls out something Beau can’t quite make out. All she knows is this pouch is the one where all of his spell components are. She’s seen him rummaging through it during combat.

He looks in the distance and twirls in his fingers whatever he is holding. “Strangely, I think I was starting to trust him.”

“Was he hard to trust, or do you have trust issues?”

Caleb looks up at her. “Probably a bit of both. But I think the issues mostly come from me, generally speaking. Yasha would be the best person to ask questions about Mollymauk, but, well.”

“Yeah.” Beau pauses and thinks back to things she overheard when the Mighty Nein were speaking among themselves. “It seems to be a recurring theme.”

“What?”

“The disappearance. From what I understand, Yasha does it a lot.”

“She’s done it a few times. Mollymauk called it yasha-ing.”

Beau scoffs and for the very first time, she sees a smile on Caleb’s face. It’s a nostalgic one, but still a smile.

None of them speak after this. Caleb eventually lays down, even if he’s still not sleeping apparently. At some point, he summons his familiar and pets him quietly. Beau’s watch comes to an end and she wakes Fjord up for the last part of the night.

“Everything’s okay?” he asks with his usual deep voice that’s a bit husky due to his recent awakening.

“Everything’s fine.”

“You didn’t die from boredom?”

“Caleb kept me company. We chatted a bit.”

Fjord glances over and Beau looks in the same direction. Even if Caleb is turned away from them, they can see his arm moving as he’s petting Frumpkin.

“Mmh. Caleb not sleeping even when he’s not standing guard seems to be a thing,” Fjord comments.

“I figured.”

“You should sleep. The second watch is usually the worst, I never get properly rested when I take it.”

“I’ll make it work.”

“Yeah. Good night, Beau.”

“Beauregard.”

“Sorry.” Fjord truly seems to be sorry. Uncomfortable, even. “I think Jester is rubbing on me. Anyway. Good night, Beauregard.”

She doesn’t answer and goes back to the spot she had previously claimed as her bed before she took her watch. She lays down and wraps herself in her blanket.

In a few days they will arrive in Zadash and she will finally get rid of this bunch of weirdos who are travelling together but don’t even trust each other apparently. She’ll be better off without them, that’s for sure.

* * *

Blood is dripping from her hands, but this is not her own. She punches, and punches, and punches again. It’s easy for her. She is proficient in punching. Actually, she’s so good at it that she’s pretty sure she could punch a ghost.

Every time her fists hit, they’re answered with a weak whine. “Feel free to let me know whenever you wanna start talking.”

She goes into another series of punches, until she’s interrupted by a mental nudge that she’s become familiar with at this point.

_ “Hey, Beau! We’re in Nicodranas! Yasha found us. She told us she had seen you. Why didn’t you say something? I hope you’re good. Bye!” _

Beau stops and tries to catch her breath. She takes a bloodied rag hanging from her belt and uses it to roughly wipe off the blood from her hands. Bending and unbending her fingers, she estimates for how long she can keep going. If her past experiences have taught her anything, it’s that she’s pretty enduring. At the moment, the only thing keeping her from continuing is actually Jester’s message. She can’t answer right now, but she knows that if she doesn’t, the tiefling will send another one.

Beau hears a whimper so feeble that she could have missed it. She glances up. The man looks terrible. His face is bruised, his nose and lower lip are bleeding, and one of his eyes is so swollen that it’s almost completely shut.

She stares at him with an impassive face. “You know.” She finishes cleaning her hands with the rag. “I’ve learned how to punch for an extended period of time while causing only minor damage to my knuckles. Even if I get tired and need a break, I can still use other tools to make you speak. So you should start talking, it would save me a lot of time and you a lot of pain.”

She waits for a brief moment, but the man remains silent. She shrugs. “Have it your way.”

She stuffs his mouth with the bloodied rag. He tries to scream, but his voice is immediately smothered. Once he is properly gagged, Beau pats his cheek. Although the gesture is gentle, he flinches. “I’ll take a short break and when I’m back we’ll see how you feel about talking.”

She turns around and the man tries screaming again, but his cries are barely audible. Beau pulls her hood up and makes sure to lock the door after exiting the room. She climbs the stairs and goes out of the basement. After spending some time in the obscurity, she has to cover her eyes from the sun with one hand.

She starts wandering the streets while trying to find a reply that will rid her of Jester once and for all. But as she’s thinking, she fully realizes what the tiefling said. Yasha told them she had seen her. What did she say exactly? How much detail did she give about their encounter? Not that Beau would mind if she told them the truth, but she’s curious to know. Call it ego.

She doesn’t really know Yasha that well, but in the brief time she’s spent with her, she was unconscious for most of it, and for the rest she didn’t appear to be very talkative. She said herself that she wasn’t the chatty type. She seems very quiet and closed off, and Beau doesn’t think she would share details about her sexual life. But maybe she’s wrong. She doesn’t know her that well, after all.

She is about to answer Jester’s message when she receives a second one.

_ “Are you okay? Why are you not answering? You’re pooping? Are you on the Menagerie Coast? We would like to see you, it’s been long!” _

Beau can’t help snorting. Something is telling her they don’t want to see her;  _ Jester _ wants to. Maybe Yasha too - not that she would say it to the group if Beau has guessed correctly the kind of person she is - but that’s it.

She speaks in a low voice and ignores the strange looks people throw her. “I’m not on the Menagerie Coast. You guys have fun in Nicodranas.”

Whether it has something to do with the mention of Yasha or not, Beau can’t bring herself to be firm and cold like she should, and she hates it. But at least, Jester doesn’t send another message after this. Maybe she will stop harassing Beau from now on. A girl can hope.

Even though Beau is done with Jester - at least for now - she keeps walking. She needs to stretch her legs and ease her mind before going back into interrogation.

Her thoughts wander off and memories of the night she spent with Yasha come back to her. Usually, when she thinks about one of her lovers, she hears their moans, their whines, or the way they said her name. She sees their back arching, their muscles tensing, their hands grabbing the sheets. With Yasha, it’s different. She remembers all of these things, but not only.

She recalls her eyes. Her mismatched eyes. One a beautiful violet. The other a bewitching turquoise. Both soft. And sad. So sad. Her eyes are haunting her. Beau managed to make this sadness disappear, but it was so short. She can’t explain why, but she wishes she could make it disappear forever.

What the hell is wrong with her? She’s met the woman only twice, has talked to her just a couple times, barely knows anything about her except that she lost her best friend recently and apparently likes people who are commanding in the bedroom, and still she’s obsessing over her. Beau can’t make sense of it all.

Sure, Yasha was an amazing lover, probably the best one she’s ever had, which is rare enough when you’ve had sex only once with said lover to be worth noting, but that’s not why she’s different from the others. There’s this sadness, but not only. If that was just it, Beau would start wondering if she suffers from the savior complex, and she has enough shit to deal with already. But that’s not it. There’s something else. Something more.

Maybe the gentleness that creates such a sharp contrast with her outer appearance. Maybe the awkwardness that would be infuriating with someone else but is somehow endearing with Yasha. Maybe the raw power emanating from her every move. Maybe a combination of all of this.

As she finishes her tour, Beau shakes her head. She needs to focus and to get back to work. The sooner she gets the information she came for, the quicker she can be out of this city and off to her next destination, wherever that is.

She goes down the stairs and walks into the basement. She enters and pulls her hood back, revealing a stern expression.

“So. Where were we?”

* * *

Beau is riding back to Rexxentrum. She will arrive in two days, meet with her client, give her the information she hired her to gather, and she will be done with this work. Another job fulfilled, another pin to add to her track record, another accomplishment that will nourish her reputation as a mercenary and boost her ego, and last but not least… another payment.

She’s been working a lot lately. Maybe she could take a break, go on vacation somewhere, relax for a bit before getting back on the field. That would be nice. She has enough money to live for a couple months if she spends it reasonably. She should definitely consider doing this.

As she is dreaming about her future destination, she feels a tingle in her head. She rolls her eyes, upset before she even hears what Jester has to say.

_ “Hi, Beau! Sooo... We accidentally stole a ship and then we hired a crew. So now we’re sailors, I guess? Also, we saw jellyfish today.” _

Before Beau can decide if she will answer or not, she receives a second message.

_ “We don’t know when we’ll come back to Nicodranas, but we’d like to see you when we’re back. Miss you!” _ There is a brief pause and then,  _ “Nott says hi. See you!” _

Beau sighs deeply and rubs her eyes. As much as she’d like to pretend she’s annoyed, she can’t. The truth is that as doubtful as these two messages are, she can’t help being amused by the mere idea that a ship could be accidentally stolen. The worst - or best? - part about it is that even if she has absolutely no context for how it happened, she actually believes that they didn’t mean to steal it. The Mighty Nein are probably the only individuals in the world able to do that.

After a short hesitation, she replies. “Stay safe.”

She shakes her head at this unbelievable story, but she quickly suppresses the smile that starts growing on her face.

It seems that Jester has grown on her more than she would care to admit. Her ridiculous messages enlighten her day from time to time, and if she’s completely honest with herself, maybe Jester had started to grow on her even before that, right when they were travelling back to Zadash. Beau tries to repel these stupid thoughts and goes back to her vacation planning.

Yeah, taking time for herself sounds nice. Maybe the Menagerie Coast could be a good destination. And of course, this is only because of the sun, the warm temperatures and the beach. Definitely not because that’s where the Mighty Nein will be returning when they’re done with whatever they went to do out there on the ocean. No, she definitely doesn’t hope to see them, and certainly not Yasha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t forget that kudos are fuel for us writers, and comments are high-quality fuel (and balm to the heart and the ego). I’m always happy to read your opinions and chat a bit!

**Author's Note:**

> You can find references on my tumblr @louloutche, under #mercenary!beau. I also post about gay stuff and things no one cares about.


End file.
